Radio Silence, Part II

I know I haven’t been much of a blogger lately. It’s just that a lot has been happening in life outside the internet. There’s a queue of projects lined up at work, most of them major websites. When I get those hours and days away from work, things, events, and people keep popping up. And I know I’m not alone in this. I’m just really bad at juggling multiple items right now. That’s the bad news. The good news is that my friend and I considered teaming up for a possible YouTube channel. Stay tuned for that one!

It’s a crime
How you’re reeling me in with the games you play
Then you hang me out to dry

You win some, you lose some. I say cut your losses and start on your footsteps again. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses, but that doesn’t mean I should just sit here and sulk. This is 2017, a far cry from 2016. This time last year was TOUGH. Looking back, I am at a better place in life right now. I shouldn’t lose sight of that fact.

And every story ends,
But we could still pretend

Beginnings and endings and new beginnings. I just try not to get caught up in the same endless loop. I’ve been growing as an individual. I may not be traveling everywhere (except once, here) or starting a new business, but on the creative side? The personal side? Things are going steady. I think I’d be adapting my friend’s approach: Stop and take stock of where you are in your life right now. Compare that to who you were three months, six months, twelve months ago. Do the same thing after three months. She said the more conscious she is of her personal growth, the more inspired she becomes to trying and creating new things. I say that’s awesome.

Tough times I just take them in stride

Okay, not everyone knows this but I have this one ex who keeps coming back every three, four months. He’d reach out, re-open communication, we talk, then he’d disappear again. It was a cycle for about five years. Thankfully, last year I was able to untangle myself away from him. (That’s one of the best things that happened to me during 2016, to be honest.) And while my feelings are no longer there for him, the damage he’s done, the pain he’s caused is still deep enough and huge enough to create ripples of self-doubts. That’s still something I am learning to let go.

I’ll be damned, Cupid’s demanding back his arrow

He was everything I wanted: Funny and witty and completely his own self. Awe-inspiring, I believe I once said. And I still believe that. He has this aura about him that just eclipses everything and everyone else. When he talks, I drink in his words, his thoughts. No doubt about it: He’s the kind of person who stands out from the rest of the crowd, simply because it’s who he naturally is. And while  I am truly thankful he’s been a part of my life, it’s high time to accept that he’s not the guy for me. He’s a great person but he just isn’t for me. He doesn’t see me as more than a friend. And so I finally accepted that. I finally started to really let go after a couple of months. It’s never easy to untangle oneself from feelings, but I must do what I should. Surely, everything happens for a reason.

I’m moving on, I got no regrets

Like I said, this is 2017. I must not forget that I am at a better place in life at the moment. I’ve been playing Charlie Puth’s Nine Track Mind album over and over. I’m really in love with most of the songs there. I have friends who keep me on track and help me grow as an individual. I’m thankful for them. I have a family who is warm and funny and tight-knit. I couldn’t be more happier about that. While there are things that didn’t turn out the way I had hoped they would, I only need to pause long enough to accept what is and what isn’t. Then I’d have to start walking again. I don’t know what 2017 holds for me, but if there’s anything the past year has taught me, it’s that good things come from true grit.