Sober

I Must Belong Somewhere

I remember daydreaming of being somewhere else when I was a lot younger, perhaps when I was 10 or 12 years old. In my head, being in a place far from where I live was exciting. Whenever the topic of moving to another country came up during conversations with my family, I was the first one to eagerly, oh-so-eagerly agree. I have always felt like living abroad was THE plan for me. I love my country, yes. My roots are here. My family’s here. My friends are here. The job I love is here. So why, then, do I feel like I’ll be more settled somewhere else? That this restlessness inside me will be stripped if I was someplace else? There were a few people who told me that might be the case because I need someone, not some place.

They tell me being in love will awaken me again, will make feel alive once more. Well, if I wanted to feel alive I can always try zipline or bungee jumping, can’t I? And hey, if anyone’s willing to sponsor me: I would be totally willing to go skydiving. Now THERE’S a rush like no other.

But I’m digressing. Back to the subject at hand: That feeling of belonging somewhere else.

All throughout the years, I have tried numerous times to find a job abroad. I have tried and tried and, well, here I am. Still here. I’m fine here, but I could be better somewhere else. It just bums me out sometimes that I can’t seem to get a break in working abroad. This feeling that has dragged on for years and years and years and years and — You get the idea. This feeling of belonging somewhere has been hanging around since practically forever. It’s not that I’m unhappy with my life here, because I am. But will I try my hand at a job abroad in a heartbeat if given the chance? You bet I will. Just the thought of it is thrilling and exciting. I know it’s not going to be all sunshine and roses, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take. And when I take risks, I do so with the enthusiasm and passion of a person who is starting to discover something new.

No one in my family and close friends understand this feeling, this tugging feeling of wanting to be somewhere. I’m not sure what these feelings are, but I know it’s there. I also don’t know if working abroad is in my cards, but I’d like to try. I have been trying for years. So far, no luck. My friend told me to keep on trying. I will. Who knows? Maybe at the right time, things will fall into place. Who knows, right?